September 2016

Little Things from Lisa

In Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus, he gives instructions to the people on Christian Living.  Paul discusses that we must put away our old self now that we are in Christ and live a new way.  Specifically, in 4:25 he says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  It is in that manner I want to come to you in this article.

It is my goal as a servant of Christ to never be exalted as the one you esteem.  Rather it is Christ through me that I want you to see.  So I try to be as transparent as possible.  That means I reveal to you who I really am, warts and all.  I am sincere and earnest in my faith and pursuit of Christlikeness. And I often feel as Paul did when he said in Ephesians 3:8,

“Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ.”

I have been struggling over the past few months mentally and emotionally.  I have felt edgy, discontent, powerless, and frazzled.  I have talked my poor husband’s ear off at length as I have tried to put into words the waging war within my soul. I have also prayed at length to God for clarity, but will admit, I talked way more than I listened.

That is why I needed to take a step back in August; to get to the bottom of this and seek help.  Many years ago I began to take an SSRI to help deal with anxiety and OCD.  This medication helped tremendously and enabled me to function with normalcy.  One night in intense prayer I just stopped to listen for a change. And with clarity, God revealed that I was experiencing all the symptoms I had before being on medication. And I realized my medication wasn’t working anymore.

I made an appointment with my doctor that took 2 long weeks to get into, but she listened and recommended I switch my medication and it is working.  I’m still adjusting, but feel more myself again.  I feel free from the edginess, in control again and most importantly at peace in my spirit.

I wanted to share this struggle with you, to “speak truthfully” with you; for even though I am woefully human, I am ever so grateful for my God. In closing, let us hear these words from Paul in 1Timothy 1:12-16.

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

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